If only I could just die

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01.07.2010 (587 Days Ago)

POETRY

dark, poetry, sadness, despair

THE DEEP DARK THOUGHTS OF MISTRESS LEA

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Lea's thoughts (1 posts)

POETRY (8 posts)

If only I could just die

587 days ago 2 comments Categories: POETRY Tags: dark, poetry, sadness, despair

IF ONLY I COULD JUST DIE

I wish I could just give up on it all and say goodbye to this life,

Often times it's all I think about lately all day and all night,

I cannot leave my kids though, that's the only reason I stay alive,

But it doesn't change the desire, If only I could just die.

My whole life has been a struggle and yes some of it my fault I'm sure,

I have come to the conclusion that for my sadness, there just is no cure,

I lay awake all night and think what is next, what should I try,

But I keep coming back to the overwhelming feeling, If only I could just die.

Everyone is depending on me for shelter, food and advice,

I've got to get them independent before I can end my life,

I guess I'd like to see them all married and settled before I go,

If only I could just die, is the only feeling I have and know.

I need to get another job so we don't have to move again,

I don't even have friends or family on whom I can depend,

The pressure is huge, the stress keeps growing, I'm always asking why,

Why is my life so miserable, If only I could just die.

(written 7-1-10)

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	slaveedp wrote 587 Days Ago (neutral)
	0 My name is Eric. I play off and on at Passive Arts Studios and though we've probably never met; I just wanted to say Ma'am that I believe you are a beautiful person. I've seen you out and about at a few events. And from what I gather you are a strong beautiful dynamic and truely beautiful person inside and out. There are times when I myself wonder whether or not its worth it to go on living another day. Stressing about my school jobs, choices I've made in life that haunt me to this day getting older, worrying about how the worlf views me, where am I going to be in 20 years the sheer terror of uncertainty in this world has stolen many a night of sleep from me and drawn me closer and closer to a an act of irreversable self detriment I would have commited against myself years ago if I only had the balls. What gets me through are the rare people in my life that I truely call friend. I don't have many but I found that when the chips are down the relationships with those closest to us really are our greatest asset. I know you probably don't believe in my God but I will most certainly pray for you anyway. Trust you are NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS DESPAIR!!!

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