Tonight I had a conversation with someone who has known me since I was 14 years old.  Now, where I might not advertise who I am at work or at my child’s playdates, people that I have and do consider friends know that I have had at the very least have an interest in BDSM.  In conversation with this particular person, I mentioned an event in the coming months where I planned to help my Sir.   I know this person and I had talked about BDSM, but they were very confused to the reference of “my Sir.”  I then tried to briefly explain how Sir is a term of honor and respect that I call my Dominant, and that I am His submissive.

I won’t lie.  This person’s response irritated me slightly.  They informed me, “Oh, that’s right, you were always a total people pleaser.”

I am sorry- I am NOT a PEOPLE pleaser!  And I let this person know so.  I do not find it necessary to please everyone!  As a submissive, there is only one person that I ever have to please and give my submission too.  I am not the world’s yes girl.  Perhaps when I was younger, and did not fully understand my submissive nature, I was more of a people pleaser, but I find that to be a bit of a stretch.

I will admit, I don’t like conflict- but in reality, who does?  I tend to be the mediator in a lot of arguments just to help everyone keep their cool.  I am someone who truly sees both sides of the problem.  Perhaps I stay quiet sometimes when I have a strong opinion about an issue, but just don’t feel like getting wrapped up in the drama of that situation.  But, trust me, I’m not doing it to please everyone and their brother.  It is what I choose to do for myself at that moment in time.  And if you ask me up front about, I will give you my honest opinion, and not just say what I think you want to hear.

This also doesn’t mean that I will not go out of my way to help someone I care about.  I have a very giving heart and nature.  I do these things because I want to and am able to at the time.  And yes, it does make me happy; but more often I am happy because of the time being shared together while we work on the task.

I am not weak.  I am not a doormat.  In fact, I am probably stronger and more confident than I have ever been in my life.  Yes, I am a submissive, and where that may make me a lot of different things, one thing I more certainly am not is a people pleaser.